Here's a nice "Bedtime" story, more like horror story, if you ask me.

So I was blog surfing (as usual) while Harley plays his Black Ops. We're so exciting, aren't we? Well to my luck I came across THIS treasure (I found it on "moms the word" such a fun blog!!). I was literally almost peeing my pants, Harley must think there is something seriously wrong with me. So here ya go my friends, tonight I give you the gift of the giggles!

The Cold Wax Story --One Woman's Tale of Woe
( not for sissies)
All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy,
painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax.
My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner,play
with the kids.
I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next
few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet."
So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.
It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax,
you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel
them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the
hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius,
but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK?)
So, I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other
stuck together.
Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair
dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!)
I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull.
It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do
this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all
wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.
With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak
back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship.
I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same
procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line,
covering the right half of my particulars and stretching down to the inside of
my butt cheek. (Yes, it was a long strip.)
I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!
I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!
:::Vision returning:::
I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip.
CRAP!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP!!
Everything is swirly and spotted.
I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...Do I hear crashing drums???
:::Breathe, breathe:::
OK, back to normal.
I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me
so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory
that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip!
There's no hair on it.
Where is the hair???
WHERE IS THE WAX???
WHERE IS THE FREAKING WAX!!!???
Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet.
I see the hair.
The hair that should be on the strip.
I touch.
I am touching wax.
CRAP!!!
I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is
now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG
mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I
need to do something. So, I put my foot down.
DAMN!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door.
Particulars?
Sealed shut!
Butt??
Sealed shut!
I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and
think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!"
What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run
the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the
wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off,
right???
*WRONG!!!!!!!*
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to sterilize
surgical equipment - I sit.
Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together,
is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in
scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.
So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied
myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few
months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!
I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret
of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter.
"So, my butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!"
There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal
but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where
the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or... or who-ha?"
She's laughing out loud by now......I can hear her. I give her the rundown
and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!!
Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through
various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor.
Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax,
glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the
sticky wax off!!
By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm
pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this
event.
My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving
grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.
What do I really have to lose at this point? I
rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!
The scream probably woke the kids and scared the ****ens out of my friend.
It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. " It works!! IT WORKS!! "
I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.
I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief
and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I
could have amputated my own leg at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair color......

Celebration of sorts!

Hey all!
So if you don't know me you PROBABLY don't know that it was my Birthday yesterday- unless you're a creepy stalker, and if you are I have a message for you... "GO AWAY". On a lighter note, this is how I celebrated!

 

I pre-purchased The Sims 3 Generations- ok I seriously am so stoked for this one, think stink bombs and bunk beds. Its pretty huge.

I went out to dinner with the in-laws at Cheesecake Cafe. It was soo sooooooo tastey! I had Fish and Chips, and French Apple Cheesecake for dessert (the cake was free cause it was my birthday :] ). The fish was soo yummy! The cake was delicious, as expected, pretty much it was like apple cobbler and cheesecake mixed into one! YUM! I wish I had taken pictures, but alas, I did not. I'm still new to this "blogging" thing and to be honest, I didn't want to be the weird girl taking pictures of her food while the rest of the people she was with ate like regular people. Don't worry though, soon I won't even care what people think! hehe.

Then I came home and looked at blogs- remember how I told you I'm blogsessed? Well I am. I found THIS super cute post for "Rango" cookies, perfect for Harley's Lizard themed birthday party (his birthday isn't til October.. oh well I guess I'll be prepared.

Then I thought to myself "heeeyyyyy, isn't Glee on tonight?" So I checked my PVR and sure enough, there Glee was! So to finish off a pretty cool night I got to watch Glee Prom. SO. GOOD.

YAY!

That's all for now folks!

-SP

Snack of the Week!

Hey all, I'm sticking with this "blogging-every-day" goal, and since nothing really new or exciting happened last night I've come up with a new section which I am going to do EVERY Tuesday! WOO HOO! This means lots of yummy snacks to test out :). So seeing as it's my birthday, and I still have Mother's Day treats kickin' around I am NOT I repeat NOT going to choose cake! I'm a little caked out! So I was looking in my pantry for something delicious, but also slightly nutritious..

Not too much of that to choose from. I should stop buying so much junk. Suddenly THIS beauty catches my eye(s).

This is like THE best trail mix I have ever tasted! Its got all the right stuff in it, and now for a limited time only $5.00! *said like on an infomercial*. Its got dried cranberries, dried bananas, dried pineapple, dried papaya, dried coconut, bittersweet chocolate, cashews, pecans, and almonds! Sounds good right? WRONG! It's friggen' DELECTABLE! I honestly cannot stop snacking on it, I just opened the box at the start of typing out this blog, and its seriously half gone. If you are getting a snack attack just by looking at this I will tell you where you can get some- At Co-op near all the bread and produce they have a bulk area.. that is where we found this! I seriously can't stop eating this... hmmm could it be because I skipped lunch? Oopsies!

That's all for now folks!
-SP

Hello, my name is Sarah, and I'm a blog-a-holic.

So recently I have been blog obsessed, now and forever known as blogsessed. I look at all these amazing blogs with super crafts and home decor and cute kids and just great ideas! I want to do EVERYTHING on them! This all started when I spotted Pascal Cupcakes on Disney.com. Seriously adorable. And then I got to thinking "These would be great to make for Harley's birthday! He loves Chameleons! Just then I see a link for Pascal Party Blowers, and I think to myself "thats genius!" so I click it. Well one thing led to another and I started clicking all sorts of links in the comments and it seriously inspired me. Now I am really going to start blogging! The real deal, not this once a month thing which I normally do! So here you go people, my first of the DAILY blogs!!

So as most people know, yesterday was Mother's Day, and if you don't then I pity your mother. Harley and I had my parents and my brother over for dinner and games. It was so great being able to spend time with my family, it feels like I haven't seen them in ages! We were also celebrating my birthday, which is tomorrow! It was seriously so fun.

To start out with dinner I made Chicken Souvlaki Burgers, this Rachael Ray recipe calls for gound lamb, but I'm not that adventurous so I switched it out for ground chicken thighs. It was so good it was freaky.

Just look at that! Doesn't it just look delish?! The feta tzatziki is the best, expecially on home made oven fries, my own recipe. Pretty much I just cut up some washed potatoes into thick wedges, drench them with lemon juice, and sprinkle on some oregano and thyme. Then I put them on a cooling rack on top of a baking sheet and stick them in a scorching hot oven. I had mine on at 450, then after about 15 minutes I turned it up to 500. After about 5 minutes at 500 degrees Farenheit I switched the broiler on to high just to crisp them up, make sure you watch them though, I almost burned mine.

Then I also had my mom make a cabbage and ramen noodle salad, my favorite. The funny part is, we both brought cakes! She brought me a delish ice cream cake from the Marble Slab, and I made her a devil's food chocolate cake (the kind from a box, except I added chocolate chips and 1/3 more milk than the box called for. It made it super moist). So I think I'm all caked out.. at least til I get a snack attack that is.

After dinner we played Pictionary Man, seriously this game is so fun. If you don't already have it, buy it! We also played a round of Apples to Apples, which Harley won, Scott and I were close on his tail though! So all in all it was a pretty fun evening!

Anyways, The kids are awake and I should go back to work.
Update you again next nap time!
-SP